http://www.forrestrace.com/wispy-stained-4/
What do you think of my poem?
Is it ok? How can I improve it?
A Fleeting Glimpse of Magic
Wispy clouds,
Stained crimson by the setting sun,
Waltz through the sky,
Searching for dance partners.
Their backdrop an overworked artist’s palette,
Splashes of colour,
Blending, mixing merging,
Evening sunset.
Fading sun extinguished,
Rich hues blackening,
The moon descends,
Shrouded in its veil of darkness.
A fleeting glimpse of magic,
Seen each eve but not for long,
For darkness reigns supreme at night,
Until morning breaks at dawn.
Thank you in advance!
It’s pretty good.
I like the imagery.
I think “Rich hues darkening” rather than “blackening” might be worth your consideration.
I also found it a bit disconcerting that you jump straight from sunset to moonset..