http://www.forrestrace.com/granite-mirror/
Thoughts on this poem?
This is a poem I wrote last year, and just edited again. I’d really like to hear your thoughts on it.
The rain today sounds not unlike the shuffling of feet.
Around my house,
Up and down the stairs, keeping time with claps of thunder.
The shuffling of people who, like sheep,
Are afraid to trample my eggshell composure.
Sitting at the windowsill,
The only island in a writhing sea of sheep,
I race raindrops.
They leave a glassy trail behind them.
If I was holding a mirror,
I could race teardrops.
My cheeks are marinated in salt.
A fresh block of granite sits fixed
in mud that was dirt.
It seals away from the rain and the world my last shred of sanity.
The rain is like tears today,
Whispering to despairing, self-pitying sheep.
Telling them, from me, to make like a tree and leaf.
The rain today sounds like shuffling of feet, around my house.
Up and down the stairs, keeping time with claps of thunder.
The shuffling of people who are afraid to trample my composure.
The beginning, edited for effect is good, the rest doesn’t know what it wants to do, tears, sheep, gravestones, sanity. Abstraction and cliche.
What do you want to say?
Do you read poetry as daily practice?
Scottish Hillforts Part 1 Introduction and Mirror Array Construction