http://www.forrestrace.com/granite-cathedral/
What do you think of poem?
St. Peter’s cathedral built of granite, ever fearful of the answer
when the candle in the tunnel, is flicking and sputter, fading faster…
it’s only then that you will know, what really lies ahead and below…
or if these fictions only prove what you really got to lose
At St. Peter’s Cathedral there’s a steeple that is reaching…
up towards the heavens, such ambition never has failed to amaze me
it’s even quite a master plan, such servants to understand
then there’s our hearts to start a ticking, and the end is so near
but there’s nothing past there…there’s nothing past there
Yeah…there’s nothing past there
I think it’s quite good.
However when you say “such ambition never has failed to amaze me” i lose the flow of the poem…I’d say leave it out because the poem itself seems to be like someone is looking on St. Peter’s Cathedral and not a poem where “me” comes in (if that makes sense). And leave out the last line because it makes it seem like a stoner poem (nothing wrong with that! I’ve written poetry while toking). Unless that wasn’t part of it lol
Death Cab For Cutie- St. Peter’s Cathedral